Ugh, Mom Guilt

I don’t care how different we are on the surface, we are more alike than we think.

You might feed your kids all organic food while I love to roll through McDonald’s, because I want french fries as bad as my kids do.

You might be an atheist, a Christian, or a muslim.

You might work out of the home, in the home, or you are a homemaker.

You make crafts, or maybe you hate glitter (okay we probably all fit into this category).

You allow screen time, or screen time is the downtime you need to regroup (I still have no idea how my parents raised 4 of us without the internet).

However you parent or raise your kids, one thing that we can agree on is that at some point we all have mom guilt.  We are convinced that we are failing, and if our kids are struggling in any area that we are the one to blame. We automatically assume we are solely responsible for screwing up our kids (even if our kids are perfectly normal human beings).

In my own life I have guilt when I feel I am working too much at home and not spending enough one on one time with my kids (I feel like I can see all you work-at-home moms nodding with me as you read this).  The problem with guilt is that we dismiss what it truly stems from.

We feel guilt because we are ACTUALLY committed to our kids, not because we are bad moms.

We feel guilt, because we are ACTUALLY committed to our family.

We feel guilt because we ACTUALLY want to be phenomenal mothers, not because we don’t care.

As a WAHM, I am also committed to my job, and it actually feeds me in a way that makes me proud of myself.  I love my job, and it is a creative outlet for me. In many ways is a lot about self-care.  The job that I have has built my self-esteem, and has given me confidence in the gifts and talents God has given me. It makes me a better mom when I am confident in myself, yet it is important that if I am feeling these tinges of “guilt” that I move that into an action for change, rather than assume I am the worst.

Guilt is more about embarrassment and shame.

Conviction is more about realizing we want it to be different and taking action.

I’d love for us to take this mom guilt and move it into mom conviction. You see, I believe that guilt is from man (as in mankind-not actually from men 🤣).  Guilt is more about embarrassment and shame. Conviction is more about realizing we want it to be different and taking action.  It is so much more empowering!

Today  I am going to talk about “Mom Guilt” on LIVE with Betsy. I’d love for you to join in the conversation, and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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LIVE with Betsy

Telling My Story

23192360_10100637510371054_1768848242_oMany of you know that I adore creating video and sharing parts of who I am and what I do.  When it comes to sharing  have my topics in “buckets” of the parts of me that are important to share.  These include LuLaRoe, ADHD, Momming, and Tech stuff.

I find myself sharing about LuLaRoe and tech things super easy.  These are straight forward and it’s easy to share styling tips and camera lenses. The topics that have been hard for me have been sharing deeper about ADHD and the momming side.  It’s not that I am scared to share my story, but I find it is SO personal that I get stuck on wanting to make sure I do it justice.

In general I share about the fact that I HAVE ADHD, and that I have some super adorable crazy kids, but it’s the nitty-gritty of these topics I want to dive even more into.  I want to be vulnerable enough to share the difficult thoughts I have.  The mental exhaustion when it comes to reminding myself I AM good enough.  I am worthy. I AM okay despite disorganized papers, a lack of structure, and piles of laundry.

I am a strong advocate that we cannot truly build connection until we learn to be more vulnerable with each other, and in the same token we learn to extend grace to one another.  There have been moments I have been vulnerable and have had people comment about my parenting, say my “ideas are stupid,” and that I am “out of touch with reality.”  People I don’t even know have made comments on posts about who I am when they really don’t know me at all.

And what makes me most pissed is that it hurts me to the core.  People I do not even know have enough power with their typed words to bring me to tears and question what I am sharing.

So, I am going to say “screw it,” and make myself share more about the vulnerable parts of my life.  It is through this vulnerability that I know I have inspired, and I do not want to stop because of a few people who choose to comment hurtful things.

I am going to work at allowing myself to not be paralyzed by the feeling I have to do my story “justice,” because not sharing ISN’T doing it justice either.  Keeping quiet isn’t helping anyone, nor is it fulfilling what I truly feel God has called me to.

So, I am going to work at sharing more.  To not allow myself to become paralyzed by making sure it is shared “right,” and not being fearful of those who comment hurtful things.  I want to share so others don’t feel so alone, and so I can encourage others they can do great things.